Dear Woman at the Gym: A Love Letter

Dear Woman at the Gym,

Every day I see you, and I wonder why you are here.  I don't know you--we never talk, except maybe to say hello in passing, or to give a little nod of acknowledgement as we move briefly through our shared space.  Then we move on, occupied with our own thoughts, spinning through our own orbit.  So it might seem strange that I notice you, or even more strange that I care, but I do.  I have no idea what brings you here.  But every day, I wonder, and every day I also hope.

I see you lifting weights, or on the treadmill, or in the pool, and I hope it's not because you think you have to.  I hope it's not one more thing on your endless to-do list.  I hope you came because this is your time.  I hope it's something wonderful and healing and indulgent that you are doing for yourself, right out in the midst of all the busyness and the chaos and the pull and tug of obligation, and the million and a half things you do every day that are not for you but for others.  I hope you know you have a right to it, that you have a right to be good to yourself, and this is what that looks like for you.

I see the fierce energy and endless effort you put forth, and I hope you aren't working so hard for anyone else--not because you think you need to, if you are to earn the approval or affection of someone close to you, or because you are afraid of losing it.  I hope the person you are working for is you.  I hope you are filled with the absolute certainty that here, as well as everywhere in your life, you are surrounded by people who both care for you as you are, and are invested in your well-being, and that's what lights the fire I see inside you.

I see you in your cute yoga pants and your headband, and your workout tank that says, "Too hot to warm up", and I hope you believe it.  I hope your perseverance here isn't driven by a heart or mind that's filled with shame or criticism for yourself.  I hope when you look around, what you don't see is people thinner than you, happier than you, better than you, people that make you think you don't measure up, people that you doubt you'll ever become.  I hope you see that you are already there.  I hope you don't come because you hope it will make you feel like you are amazing, but because you are already amazing and you know it.

I hope that being here is the best part of your day.

But if it's not.  If everything I hope for you is not true.  Tomorrow, please do me a favor.  Please try to take a step back, and look around at all the rest of us.  Try to take a look through my eyes, the way I see you every day.  Every day I see you, and you are so beautiful and so strong and you fill me with admiration, and every day I know that there is nothing, absolutely nothing, that can hurt you or stop you or stand in your way, and that it is very important for you to be as good to yourself as the good that other people want for you.

We don't know each other, but you can take my word for it, because who would know better than me, the person who sees you every day?

Every day, I see you.  I hope you do too.